Irate Heron Demanding Equal Press Tries Smear Tactics

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Just prior to the big drop.

Every once in a while we find ourselves in situations where we ask, is this really happening... to me?  Yesterday will certainly not fade from memory quickly. There I was, diving into another day of plotting out features and functionality for the upcoming website release, and a Great Blue Heron walks into the BirdFellow office, unannounced. Our office is in a waterfront cabana at the east end of Oswego Lake, a few miles south of Portland, Oregon where, ironically, the Great Blue Heron is the official city bird. Close-up views of waterbirds are a daily occurrence, but this is the first bird to actually come in for a visit. 

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I probably didn't need to zoom on this shot. These floor tiles are 9 x 9".

Once inside, the juvenile heron made a break for the kitchen and then dropped its payload in front of the dishwasher. Perhaps embarrassed by its bad manners, it headed for cover in the back room. Oh no, I thought,  is there more? Quick, where is the heron diaper when I need one?

I grabbed my iPhone and nervously tracked it into the bathroom. Phew, at least we're in the right place now, I thought. But, wait! The lid is down. Startled by my approach, the bird hopped around anxiously, so I decided to back off. Within a few moments, the heron walked out of the bathroom and into the back office. I approached it again and this time it took flight. My mediocre "flight shot" skills were of no use as I was completely frozen by the sight of this huge bird--with a six-foot wingspan--flying around in a 10 x 12' office space. I had to scramble out of the way as the bird flew up and over the desk and lamp. Quickly, I decided to outflank the fowl by hiding in office supplies.  Camouflaged by the fax machine, I had time to consider my next approach. How am I going to get this bird out of here?

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Here's the heron showing remarkable balancing skills as it stands on the toilet. Below, I am relieved as the bird finally starts heading for the door and its expected environs.

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But then, as if the Persian rug was as natural as a flooded meadow, it confidently walked towards to the door, back outside, and took flight. As I watched the bird fly across the bay, I thought to myself, does anyone else who is watching this Great Blue Heron fly right now know that it just whitewashed the headquarters of the only birding social media company for 900 miles?

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At last, the Heron leaves the cabana.

We've decided to make a contest out of permanently titling this piece. We invite you to offer up your own creative headline (keep it clean) for this episode and post it as a comment to our website. We will choose the top three, the winner will see their entry become the ongoing headline for this article. The top-three entries, as determined by BirdFellow staff, will also receive BirdFellow.com wearables provided their posting includes their name and a usable e-mail address.

1

How about “Headquarters Hosts Hightailing Heron” (pun intended)?

2

Great story and photos—-

How about a title:

Heron Help Us!
3

BJ, did you graduate from RHS? If so, you always were really good with attracting people. Now it is birds. How about the “Hinrichs Heron Effect”?

4

I like the title just as it is. If anyone but you posted these pictures, I’d be thinking photoshop, especially the balancing act on the toilet. Another terrific story, one of the best bird web sites. The payload picture has put my complaints about mourning doves on our paved driveway into perspective.

5

I have heard of some pretty bizarre interactions with birds, but this one takes the cake. My title would be “Ardea herodias hideous”

6

Wow, what a story! How about “Darin’ Heron”?

7

Here’s my idea: “Heron’s lookin’ at you, kid.”

Great website by the way… I used to live in the NW (SEA) and now I live in DC… one of my friends on Tweeters shared your site and this article with me. I am so glad they did. Thanks for being there!!

8

What about “This heron walks into a bar … um, office …”

9

How about "This heron walks into a head … " and post the third picture first.

10

I nominate, “Official City Bird Pays Its Respects.”

11

“Bird of a Fellow Blesses HQ”

12

My suggestion:
Thank God There is Quality Reading Material in this Bathroom.
But I do like the original too. Good thing it missed the nice rugs.

13

How about:

Irate Heron Demanding Equal Press Tries Smear Tactics

14

Did ya ever think to leave the toilet seat up, you inconsiderate lout.

Men!

If you had been thoughtful, I wouldn’t have had to “go” on the floor. How embarrassing! If word ever gets out, I will be dethroned and the city bird will be that good-for-nothing runner-up, the Marsh Wren. What a pipsqueak — and it will all be your fault!

15

Ah! I can imagine the wing spread in such a small space.
How ’bout:
Birdfellow Headquarters Sings the “Whitewashed Blues.”

16

Heron Poo-Poos Birdfellow Headquarters

17

I think it’s clear what happened here…bird tried to come in to use the restroom. Obviously not fully house trained yet.

“Birdfellow Claims Only Partial Success for Heron House Training Experiment”

18

Heron there

19

Audacious ardeid assails agency?

20

There have been some great contributions to the headline contest over the past few days. In order to keep this timely, we will accept suggestions until Friday July 31 at 5:00PM, at which point the contest entries will be closed. If you want to offer a second entry go for it. I have a couple that I really like so far, but I will not share those. We don’t want anyone to get their hopes up. Keep telling your friends, even the non-birding ones, about this photo essay.

21

I suggest the possibility of turning this event/article into a “PR stunt” for the grand opening of the fully dynamic BirdFellow.com website. Here are a few suggestions for titles:

Short Title:
BirdFellow Headquarters Raided

Short Title #2:
BirdFellow Headquarters Investigated

Longer Title #1:
BirdFellow Headquarters Raided By Special Agent Heron

Longer Title #2:
Special Investigator Raids BirdFellow Headquarters

Longer Title #3:
BirdFellow Headquarters Raided For Potential

Since I prefer short main titles that peak the interest with longer subtitles that (sometimes) offer more explanation, here are some potential subtitles:

Special Agent Heron Investigates Allegations of Birdwatcher Nirvana

Special Agent Heron Leaves Special Surprise For BirdFellow Founders While Conducting an Investigation

Special Agent Heron Probes Allegations of Birder Nirvana

Special Agent Heron Probes For Potential Birdwatcher Ebullience

I don’t have time right now to think of the perfect subtitle but hopefully you get the idea.

You could also use “Special Agent Ardea Herodias.”

22

Well since GBHE is the Lake Oswego city bird, and since you offered a second chance, here is another one along those lines.

City Dignitary Defies Rules of Decorum During BirdFellow Visit

23

“BirdFellow gets wild Heron”

“BirdFellow receives op/ed from local critic”

24

“Do you have any Grey Poupon?”

25

Steve has a photo caption and I have a title:

Photo caption: I thought someone told me the fish was laying here on the countertop.

Title: Before getting ejected, heron ejects!

26

You keep it up now, undersnatd? Really good to know.

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